Bill Duke's documentary, “DARK GIRLS,” started with a girl about 7 years old who did not like being called “Black!” I can relate.
As I watched many beautiful women tell their stories of colorism. - Colorism is a practice of discrimination by which those with lighter skin are treated more favorably than those with darker skin. I felt and understood their pain all too well. Because many of them were telling MY story. I am a dark girl.
I am a survivor, as are many of my sisters of darker skin, of the plethora of ignorant and offensive comments and gestures that have been made over my lifetime from strangers, boyfriends, and even family.
“You’re pretty to be so black.”
“Wow! I’ve never seen a pretty dark girl before.”
The list goes on. . . but as I sat in awe, watching the tears roll down the faces of my wounded sisters, I sat and thought, “What does God say about all of this?
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 14-16 NIV
So, if God created us to look the way we look, then the only logical and spiritual answer is that not only has the devil deceived a whole race, community, and nation of people by telling us the LIE that being dark-skinned is ugly, undesirable and makes us not brilliant, but even worse, for generations, WE BELIEVED HIM!!! Generations of parents have taught their kids about colorism, so when are we, as a body of Christ, going to start boldly taking authority over the lies of the enemy and take back what he has used to steal, kill, and destroy? When? Now? Or in a few more generations?
After seeing this documentary of gorgeous children and women who God gave darker skin, describe how they hated how they looked and would secretly wish they were shades lighter! I was moved because I used to think that way as well.
Not only did I struggle with accepting my size six body among my friends who were size O frames, but I also hated my skin color. I did everything I could to immolate what the world portrayed as beautiful. I got my first weave down my back in high school, and I started sporting hazel contacts, to boot! I was a victim—a victim who believed the lie.
It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I got sick and tired of being a victim. I got tired of jumping through hoops as a WORLD PEOPLE PLEASER and started the journey of discovering who God made me to be. Was it easy? Absolutely not! But it sure was worth it!
Many years later, I can proudly say that I love my skin and the body that I am in. I am a DARK GIRL, and wholeheartedly believe that God never made a mistake! I am grateful for the journey because I have a beautiful dark-skinned daughter that I have the privilege of pouring into nothing but love, life, and the truth of God’s word, equipping her to know the truth of who she is so that she knows how to navigate around the lies of the devil and the ignorant comments that she may face along the way.
I have a beautiful dark-skinned granddaughter, goddaughters, and many gorgeous dark-skinned girlfriends who are exceptional in every way! I understand the power of my words. God says in his word that
What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words. – Proverbs 18:21
(Good News Translation)
Unfortunately, there have been far too many who have destroyed lives because of the harsh, judgmental lies that they have spoken to women who were born with darker skin.
Although I am specifically talking about skin color, most of us have believed the lie that we aren’t good enough the way God made us because someone said that we were too tall, too short, too light, too big, had the wrong color hair.
Numerous women of all colors from all races and backgrounds have believed the lie that something about themselves was “not good enough, or not pretty enough!” Many have struggled to love themselves fully and holistically because of the lies that they have believed.
So . . . to all of my sisters
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
YOU ARE GOD’S DAUGHTERS
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH
YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE
YOU ARE VALUABLE
YOU ARE LOVED
The power of your words can change the course of your life and the lives of others. So, as you begin to change the course of your life and the way you see yourself, please remember this . . .
Your tongue and the things you think and say have the power to change your life forever!
First, you must decide to respond with love! You must stop shrinking! You must stop rehearsing the negative thoughts and beliefs in your mind! Start speaking LIFE!
Today . . . start speaking LOVE towards yourself! Speak love to a little girl or a sister that looks like you and tell her . . . ”YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!”
Remind yourself of what LOVE IS . . .
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear.
9 Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little!
10 But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear.
11 It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
12 Now, we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.
13 There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 (New Living Translation)
If you haven’t yet seen DARK GIRLS, please visit PRIME and rent it. https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Girls-D-Channsin-Berry/dp/B00ESY74DK
To read more of my “Dark Girl” story, click here to purchase Sacred Spaces 3.
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